Another Midsummer Night's Dream
by Princess Regia Al
Summary: A modern version of the famous play
1. Act 1, Scene 1

[Enter **Theseus, Hippolyta, Philostrate** and **Attendants** ]

 **Thesus:** My beautiful Hippolyta, our wedding day will soon be here. (Moves towards **Hippolyta** ) Oh, but how could four days be considered soon? (Passionately hugs her, attempts to kiss her)

 **Hippolyta:** (Pushes him an arm's length away)Four days will turn into night, which we'll quickly dream away. (Slightly pulls him closer)

 **Thesus:** (To **Philostrate** ) Go Phil! Cheer up and excite the people! We don't want any dreary people at our wedding! ( **Philostrate** , bows, then exits) Hippolyta, I wooed you as a mighty conqueror, I even conquered you. But I shall marry you in another manner, with pomp, festivity and rejoicing!

[ **Egeus** enters, with his daughter, **Hermia,** followed by **Lysander** and **Demetrius** ]

 **Egeus:** Happy be Theseus, our renowned Duke.

 **Theseus:** Thanks good Egeus. What's the news with you?

 **Egeus:** I'm full of vexation and here to complain about my daughter, Hermia. (To **Demetrius** ) Come forward, Demetrius. (To **Theseus** ) My noble lord, this man has my consent to marry her. (To **Lysander** ) Come forward Lysander. (To **Theseus** ) This man, my gracious Duke, has infatuated her. (To **Lysander** ) You, Lysander, you have given her poems, love-tokens, trinkets, flowers, candies and you have even serenaded her at her window by moonlight, singing songs of so-called love. Very cleverly you've stolen my daughter's heart and turned her obedience, which is due to me, too stubborn harshness. (To **Theseus** ) And, my gracious Duke, if she will not here before your grace, consent to marry with Demetrius, then I beg my ancient Athenian right. As she is mine, _I_ can decide her fate. She shall either marry Demetrius or she shall die, according to our law, immediately provided in such a case.

 **Theseus:** (To **Hermia** ) What say you, Hermia? Be advised, dear girl, to you, your father should be like a god. He gave you your beauty, he helped create you, so you are his to let be or destroy. Demetrius is a worthy gentleman.

 **Hermia:** So is Lysander.

 **Theseus:** True, apart from these events, he is. But in this case, lacking your father's approval, the other must be seen as the worthier.

 **Hermia:** I wish my father saw things my way.

 **Theseus:** Rather, you must see things as he does.

 **Hermia:** I beg your Grace to pardon me. I don't know what has given me the courage but I beg your Grace, to tell me the worst that can happen to me if I refuse to marry Demetrius.

 **Theseus:** You must either die or become a nun. Therefore, beautiful Hermia, think about what you want. Consider your youth. Examine your feelings carefully. If you don't marry your father's choice, could you tolerate wearing nun's clothing and being cooped up forever in some shady cloister, a virgin all your life, singing quiet hymns to the bleak and barren moon? The rose that gives off its perfume is happier than the rose, withering on the untouched stalk, grows, lives and dies in single blessedness.

 **Hermia:** So I'll grow, so live, so die, my lord, rather than surrender my virginity to an unwanted husband.

 **Theseus:** Take time to reconsider. By the next new moon, our (indicating **Hippolyta** ) wedding day, either prepare to die for disobeying your father, marry Demetrius or on the altar of Diana, patroness of chastity, vow to live forever the life of a nun.

 **Demetrius:** Relent, sweet Hermia. Lysander, yield your crazed claim to my certain right.

 **Lysander:** You have her _father's_ love, Demetrius. Let me have _Hermia's_. Why don't you marry him?

 **Egeus:** Why, scornful Lysander, true, he has my love. And because of that love I'll give him what's mine. And she is mine and I hand over all my rights in her to Demetrius.

 **Lysander:** I come from, my lord, as good of family as he. I'm as rich. My love is more than his. My fortunes, in every way, my lord, is equal to, if not better than, those of Demetrius. And what's more important than all these claims, Hermia loves me. Why, then, shouldn't I press for my rights? Demetrius, I'll say it to his face, he made love to Nedar's daughter, Helena, and won her heart and soul. Now she, sweet lady, dotes, devoutly dotes, worships and idolizes this tainted unfaithful man!

 **Theseus:** I must confess, that I've heard that, and was going to speak to Demetrius about it. But being preoccupied with my own affairs, it slipped my mind. Demetrius and Egeus, I've some advice to give you in privet. As for you, fair Hermia: see to it that you obey your father, or else the law of Athens, which I can't alter, condemns you to death or the life of a nun. ( **Hippolyta** looks dismayed) Cheer up my Hippolyta, come, my love. (He and **Hippolyta** turn to go) Demetrius and Egeus, come along. I must talk with you about our wedding celebrations and talk about your personal lives.

 **Egeus:** With duty desire, we follow you.

[They all leave except **Hermia & Lysander**]

 **Lysander:** Well, then, my love. Why are your cheeks so pale? What's made the roses fade so fast?

 **Hermia:** Probably lack of rain, which I could well provide with storms of tears!

 **Lysander:** (Kisses her cheek) Judging by all I've ever read or ever heard of, the course of true love never did run smooth. Either it was a class difference -

 **Hermia:** O cross! Too high born to love a commoner!

 **Lysander:** Or else the ages were ill-matched -

 **Hermia:** O spite! Too old to be engaged to young.

 **Lysander:** Or relations had a say in it -

 **Hermia:** O heck! To choose love by another's eyes.

 **Lysander:** Or even if the match pleased everyone, war, death or sickness destroyed it. Then it's as swift as a shadow, short like a dream, as brief as a lightning bolt on a pitch-black night, and ere you have the power to say, 'Behold!' the jaws of darkness do devour it up. That's how quickly bright hopes fade.

 **Hermia:** If true lovers have always been thwarted, it must a law of life. So let's bear this patiently, for it's a usual cross to bear among love.

 **Lysander:** Well said. Listen, Hermia. I have a widowed aunt, she's old, rich and has no children. Her house is about 20 miles from Athens and she sees me as her only son. There, my sweet Hermia, I can marry you. The severe Athenian laws can't follow us there.

 **Hermia:** Are you serious?

 **Lysander:** Yes I am. If thou truly loves me,(looks to make sure they're alone) then, steal forth thy father's house tomorrow night, and in the wood three miles outside the town, where I did meet you once with Helena one May morning.

 **Hermia:** My good Lysander, I swear to thee by Cupid's strongest bow, by his best gold-tipped arrow, tomorrow truly will I meet with thee.

 **Lysander:** Keep your promise, my love. Look here comes Helena.

[ **Helena** enters, hurriedly with a pet]

 **Hermia:** (Pleasantly) Safe journey, fair Helena! Where are you going?

 **Helena:** (Taking offence)Whom are you calling "fair"? Take that "fair" back! Demetrius loves your fairness! To him, your eyes are stars, your voice is more pleasing than a lark's song to a shepherd in spring. Sickness is infectious, I wish good looks were too. I'd catch yours, fair Hermia, before I left. My throat would catch your voice, my eye your eye, my tongue would catch your tongue's sweet melody. If I owned the world, I'd give it all, except Demetrius, to change places with you. Tell me how you attract Demetrius.

 **Hermia:** I frown at him, yet he loves me still.

 **Helena:** I wish your frowns could teach my smiles such skill.

 **Hermia:** I give him _curses,_ yet he give me _love._

 **Helena:** I wish my prayers could do the same!

 **Hermia:** The more I _hate_ him, the more he _follows_ me.

 **Helena:** The more I _love_ and _follow_ him, the more he _hates_ me.

 **Hermia:** His stupidity, Helena, isn't my fault.

 **Helena:** Yes it is! It's the fault of your beauty. I wish that fault were mine!

 **Hermia:** Take comfort. He won't see me again. Lysander and I are running away. Before I saw Lysander, Athens seemed like paradise.

 **Lysander:** Helena, we'll confide in you. Tomorrow night when the moonlight shines on the seas, we plan to steal through the gates of Athens.

 **Hermia:** And in the wood, where you and I used to lie on beds of pale primroses, telling our secrets to each other, Lysander and I will meet. We'll turn our backs on Athens forever. (Gives her a long hug) Farewell, dearest friend! Pray for us, and good luck with Demetrius. (To **Lysander** ) Keep your promise, Lysander. We must starve our sight of each other, until midnight tomorrow.

[ **Hermia** goes]

 **Lysander:** I will, my sweet Hermia! Goodbye, Helena. Just as you dote on Demetrius, may he dote on you.

[ **Lysander** goes]

 **Helena:** (To pet) How happier some are than others! All of Athens thinks I'm as beautiful as her! But what of that? Demetrius doesn't think so. He just won't accept what everyone else knows well. (Groans) Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. Not that Love's mind has good judgment. Wings and blindness suggest rash haste. Before Demetrius saw Hermia, he hailed down oaths that he was only mine. Then when he felt warmth from her, all those oaths melted away. (Sighs) I will tell him of fair Hermia's flight. Then he'll follow her to the wood tomorrow night and if he pays me with a mere "thanks", it'll be a dear expense and make my pain worthwhile, and we'll see each other again.

[She goes]


	2. Act 1, Scene 2

[Athens. Enter **Quince** the carpenter, carrying a bundle of papers; **Snug** the joiner; **Bottom** the weaver; **F. & M. Flute**, the bellows-menders; **Snout** the tinker and **Starveling** the seamstress]

 **Quince:** Is everyone here?

 **Bottom:** You'd better call them, name by name, according to the script.(He points to **Quince's** documents)

 **Quince** : Here's the list of all the people in Athens thought fit to take part in our play, which is to be performed before the Duke and Duchess on their wedding day, at night.

 **Bottom** : First, good Peter Quince, say what the play's about. Then read the names of the actors, dude.

 **Quince:** Well, our play's called "The most distressing comedy, and most cruel death, of Pyramus and Thisbe"

 **Bottom** : A very good piece of work, I assure you. Now call the actors.

 **Quince** : Answer as I call you. Nick Bottom, the weaver(senior)?

 **Bottom:** Ready! Tell me my part, then proceed.

 **Quince** : You have been given Pyramus.

 **Bottom:** Who's Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant?

 **Quince:** A lover, who kills himself most gallantly for love.

 **Bottom** : That'll require some tears to do it well. If I do it, let the audience take care of their eyes. But my real talent is for playing a tyrant.

 **Quince** : The Flutes, Maxcence and Francis.

 **Bottom** : I could be a great Ercles, well enough to raise the roof(He gives a demonstration)

The raging rocks,  
And shivering shocks,  
Shall break the locks  
Of prison gates.  
The sun, bright star,  
Shall shine from far  
And make mar  
The foolish fates.  
Lofty stuff! A lover is more condoling

 **Quince** : (Yells)Maxcence and Francis Flute, the bellows-menders(Sophomore and Senior)!

 **M. Flute:** We're here, Peter Quince.

 **Quince:** Fran, you're (notices her outfit) why are you wearing a skirt?

 **F. Flute** : Because I'm a girl!

 **Quince:** Since when?

 **F. Flute** : Since I was born! My parents thought that the 'is' ending was feminine. They just realized it and only _just_ got it changed.

 **M. Flute:** My sis is right, I mean look at my name.

 **Quince:** Well ok. Fran, you're Ninus's tomb and Max, you're Thisbe.

 **M. Flute:** Who's Thisbe? A wandering knight?

 **Quince:** It's the lady (the others laugh) that Pyramus must love.

 **M. Flute:** No way! Don't let me play a woman. I've got a beard coming.

 **Quince:** That doesn't matter. You can play it in a mask.

 **Bottom:** If I can hide my face, let me play Thisbe too. I'll speak so wonderfully. (First his Pyramus voice)"Thisne, Thisne!" (Changing to his Thisbe voice)"Ah, Pyramus, my lover dear! Your Thisbe der, and lady dear!"

 **Quince:** No, no! You must play Pyramus. And Max...

 **F. Flute:** Excuse me, but shouldn't Thisbe, the _FEMALE_ lead be played _by_ a female! Like me? Let me and my dumb brother switch parts.

 **M. Flute:** It would make more sense.

 **Bottom:** And make the acting more real. (Winks at )

 **Quince:** Fine, you can switch. Robin Starveling, the seamstress(Junior)?

 **Starveling** : Here, Peter Quince.

 **Quince:** Robin, you girl, must play Thisbe's mother. Tom Snout the tinker.

 **Snout** : Here, Peter Quince.

 **Quince:** Your Pyramus's father. Myself, Thisbe's father. Snug the joiner, you're the lion. I hope that fills out the cast.

 **Snug** : Have you got the lions lines written? If so, please give them to me, for I'm very slow at learning.

 **Quince** : You can make it up, it's nothing but roaring.

 **Bottom:** Let me play the lion too! I'll roar that it'll do anyone's heart good to hear me. I'll make the Duke want an encore!

 **Quince:** If you did it too terrifying, you'd frighten the Duchess and the ladies and make them scream.

 **Bottom:** Friends, if you frighten the ladies out of their wits, they'd hang us for sure. But I won't! For I'll roar very gently.

 **Quince:** You can only play Pyramus! For he's a nice-looking man. A most lovely, gentlemanly man. So you must play Pyramus.

 **Bottom:** Well, I'll take it.

 **Quince:** Good. Everyone, here are your parts. (He passes them around)I must request and require you to learn them by tomorrow night. And meet me in the palace wood, a mile outside the town, there we'll rehearse.

 **F. Flute:** Excellent! That way, we won't have onlookers like if we rehearsed in the city.

 **Bottom:** We'll meet and be able to rehearse most obscenely and courageously! Make an effort! Be perfect! See you then!

[They go]


	3. Act 1, Scene 3

[A wood near Athens. Enter **Fairy** from one side and **Puck** from the other.]

 **Puck:** How now, sprite! Whither wander you?

 **Fairy:** Over hill over dale, through bush, through briar, over park, over pale, through flood, through fire. I do wander everywhere, swifter than the moon's sphere, and I serve the fairy queen. I give the village greens, dewdrops. I must seek some of them here, to give to her bodyguards, the tall, golden coated cowslips. Farewell, you silly sprite. Our queen, with all her elves and some fairies, will be here soon.

 **Puck:** The king is celebrating here tonight. Make sure the queen doesn't come within his sight, for Oberon is in a furious rage. All because she's taken as her private page, a lovely changeling boy. An Indian prince. She never had so sweet a plaything. And jealous Oberon would have the child as _his_ page. But she, by force, keeps the beloved boy; crowns him with flowers and makes him all her joy. So now, whenever they meet, they quarrel. Everyone hides from them!

 **Fairy:** Either I'm mistaken, or you're that mischievous Robin Goodfellow. Have you not made the villagers afraid? And mislead night travelers, laughing at them?

 **Puck:** You're right. I am that merry wanderer of the night! I'm Oberon's jester, I make him laugh. I trick a fat bean-fed horse, by neighing like a filly. I shape shift into whoever or whatever I desire or turn invisible and cause mischief and humor. There's always so much laughing! But stand aside, fairy! Here comes Oberon!

 **Fairy:** And here my mistress! If only Oberon would go!

[Enter **Oberon** , king of the fairies, with his attendants at one side, and **Titania** , his queen with her attendants and **Prince** , from the other side.]

 **Oberon:** How unlucky to meet you here in the moonlight, proud Titania!

 **Titaina:** (Recognizing him, she halts abruptly)What? Jealous Oberon? Fairies, let's go! I've forsworn his bed and company.

 **Oberon:** Not so fast! Aren't I your husband?

 **Titania:** Then I must be your wife. But I've known you to slip away from fairyland and turned into the human shepherd, Corin, sitting all day long playing music and writing love poems to amorous women. What's brought you from India? Wait, I know, the beautiful queen of the Amazons, your warrior lady-love, is to wed Theseus and you want to bestow joy to them?

 **Oberon:** For shame, Titaina! How can you make snide remarks Hippolyta, knowing that I know about your love to Theseus? Didn't you lead him safely through the night, after he had committed, adulterous crimes made him ditch Aegles, Ariadne and Antiopa?

 **Titaina:** These are the fantasies of jealousy! Since early June, we've never met to dance our fairy rings to the music of the winds, without you ruining things. So much so…

 **Oberon:** (cutting her off)I know what you're about to drone on about. I know about the intermingled seasons. Put it right, then. It's up to you. Why should you cross me? I'm only asking for a little changeling boy, to be my page. Or maybe…

 **Titania:** (cutting him off)Put your mind and heart at rest. I wouldn't sell my child for all of Fairyland. His mother was a dedicated follower of mine, and my best friend. But being mortal, she died in childbirth, and for her sake, I'm raising her boy. And for her sake, I won't part with him.

 **Oberon:** How long do you intend to stay in this wood?

 **Titania:** Perhaps till after Theseus's wedding day. If you'll be reasonable and dance with us in our fairy ring, and watch our moonlight revels, go with us. If not, shun me, and I'll do the same to you.

 **Oberon:** Give me that boy, and I'll go with you.

 **Titania:** Not for your Fairy Kingdom! Fairies away! We'll have a nasty scene if I longer stay.

[She leaves with her attendants and **Prince** ]

 **Oberon:** Well, go your way! You won't leave this grove until you suffer for this insult! My gentle Puck, come here. Remember that flower I showed you once, that used to be white, now purple with love's wound? The one that maidens call "love-in-idleness"?

 **Puck:** I remember.

 **Oberon:** Get me that flower. If it's juice is laid on sleeping eyelids, the person is made to fall madly in love with the next live creature that they see. Once I have this juice, I'll use it on Titania when she's asleep. When she wakes, the first thing she sees, be it a wolf, lion, a tiger, a bear…

 **Puck:** (cutting him off)Oh my!

 **Oberon:** Or whatever, she will follow it out of love, and before I remove the spell, I'll get the boy. Get me that flower, please, and be back before the leviathan can swim a league.

 **Puck:** I'll encircle the Earth in forty minutes!

[He goes]

 **Oberon:** Everything will be perfect! But who comes here? (He makes a motion with his hand)I'm invisible and will overhear them.

[ **Demetrius** enters, followed by **Helena** ]

 **Demetrius:** Helena, I don't love you! So stop following me!

 **Helena:** You draw me, you hard hearted magnet!

 **Demetrius:** Where are Lysander and the beautiful Hermia? You told me they ran into this wood. So here I am, crazy in this wood because I can't find my Hermia. ( **Helena** comes closer)Go away! Stop following me!

 **Helena:** I told you that you attract me! Lose your magnetism, and I won't be able to follow you.

 **Demetrius:** Do I encourage you? Do I talk nicely to you? Or rather, don't tell you, truthfully, that I do not and cannot love you.

 **Helena:** And even for that, do I love you the more. Just allow me, Demetrius, unworthy as I am to follow you.

 **Demetrius:** Don't push too hard, Helena. It makes me sick to look at you.

 **Helena:** And I'm sick when I'm _not_ looking at you.

 **Demetrius:** I'll run from you and hide. And leave you to the mercy of wild beasts!

 **Helena:** The wildest hasn't such a heart as you!

 **Demetrius:** If you follow me, don't doubt that I'll do you mischief in the woods.

 **Helena:** Yes, you always do me mischief. I can't fight for love as you can. ( **Demetrius** runs off) I'll follow you, and find happiness in this misery. To die upon the hand I love so well.

[ **Helena** follows him]

 **Oberon:** Farewell, nymph. Before he leaves this wood, you'll be running away from him, and he'll be seeking your love. ( **Puck** returns)Welcome, wanderer. Have you got the flower?

 **Puck:** Here it is! (Shows it to him)

 **Oberon:** Please give it to me. I know a bank where wild thyme blows, where oxlips and violets grow. That's where Titania sometimes sleep, lulled to sleep among the flowers after dancing and delight. And with the juice of this (holds the flower high) I'll streak her eyes, and make her give me her boy. You take some of it, and go searching through this grove. A sweet Athenian lady, Helena, is in love with a disdainful youth. Anoint his eyes, but do it when thing he sees will be Helena. You'll know the man by his Athenian clothing. Make sure, you do it so he's more in love with her, than she is with him.

 **Puck:** My lord, shouldn't you give me more details? What if I get confused?

 **Oberon:** Don't worry. How many Athenian youths can there be in this wood? I'll meet you before daybreak.

 **Puck:** Fear not, my lord. Your servant will do so.

[They go]


	4. Act 1, Scene 4

[ **Titania's** sleeping place in the wood. **Titania** enters with her servants and **Prince** ]

 **Titania:** Come now, sing us now asleep, then to your duties go, and let us rest.

 **1st Fairy:** (Sings)You spotted snakes with double tongue, Thorny hedgehogs, be not seen! Newts and blindworms, do no wrong, Come not near our fairy Queen.

 **Chourus of Fairies**

Philomel, with melody, Sing in our sweet lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby; lulla, lulla, lullaby. Never harm, nor spell, nor charm, Come our lovely lady nigh. So goodnight with lullaby.

 **2nd Fairy**

(Sings)Weaving spiders, don't come here! Away, you long-legged spinners, hence! Black beetles, don't come near! Worms and snails, give no offence!

 **Chourus of Fairies**

Nightingale, with melody, Sing in our sweet lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby. Lulla, lulla, lullaby. No harm, nor spell, nor charm, Come our lovely lady nigh. So goodnight with lullaby.

 **Fairy**

(Sings)So goodnight, with, lullaby!

[ **Titania** and **Prince** fall asleep.]

 **3rd Fairy:** Let's go, Now all is well. One of you stand guard.

[All **Fairies** but one depart. Enter **Oberon,** **Guard Fairy** falls asleep.]

 **Oberon:** (Squeezing the juice on **Titania's** eyes)What you see when you wake, Fall in love with, by mistake! Love and suffer for their sake. Be it, wild cat, bear or boar with bristly hair. In your eye, it shall appear, when you wake, your dear.

[Exits. Enter, **Lysander** and **Hermia**.]

 **Lysander:** Dearest, you nearly fainted wandering in this wood. And, honestly, I forgot our way.

 **Hermia:** Really? (yawns)

 **Lysander:** Let's rest, Hermia. And continue travel in the morning.

 **Hermia:** Ok, Lysander. Find yourself a bed. I'll sleep here, upon this bank. (She settles down on the grass)

 **Lysander:** One turf shall serve as a pillow for us both. Our vow of love unites our two hearts.

 **Hermia:** No, my dear. For my sake, dear, lie further away. Don't lie so near.

 **Lysander:** Oh, sweet, I speak in innocence! Since we have sworn our love for each other, our hearts are one. So, please, don't deny me to lay next to you. You know I don't lie.

 **Hermia:** I see, that you talk very prettily. Shame on my manners and high self-esteem, if I seemed to suggest that you lied! But, my sweet, for love and courtesy, lie farther away, out of common decency. About as far a distance thought proper between two single people. (She indicates a suitable place)This is good. Goodnight, sweet darling. May your love never change as long as you live!

 **Lysander:** Don't worry. If I broke faith, I deserve to die. Here's my bed. (Receives a goodnight kiss from **Hermia** )Sleep peacefully.

 **Hermia:** I'll share that wish with you.( Another goodnight kiss)

[They sleep. **Puck** enters]

 **Puck:** Through the forest, I've been. But I haven't seen an Athenian. (Notices **Lysander** )Night and silence! Who's here? He's wearing Athenian clothing. This must be the man, my master sais, despised Helena. (Notices **Hermia** )There she is. Sleeping on the damp and dirty ground. Pretty girl, she dares not lie near this, lack-love! Fool! (He places drops on **Lysander's** eyes)When you wake, love forbids, that you should ever close your lids. So waken when I'm gone! For I must go to Oberon.

[He leaves. Enter **Demetrius** and **Helena** , running]

 **Helena:** Stop! Even if it's to kill me. Demetrius!

 **Demetrius:** Don't haunt me like this!

 **Helena:** Oh, you won't leave me alone in the dark, will you? (He nods)Please don't!

 **Demetrius:** Stay, and take your chance! I'll go alone.

[He runs off]

Helena

Oh, I'm out of breath from all this silly chasing. (Takes a drink of water) The more I pray, the less I get. Hermia, with her beauty, must be happy. (Sighs)How did she become so beautiful? Why does Demetrius love her and not me? (Sighs)I know why, I cry too much. I'm a hideous monster! For beasts who meet me, run away for fear. No wonder Demetrius runs away from me so. (She notices **Lysander** , asleep)Who's this? Lysander, on the ground? Dead or asleep? I see no blood, no wound. (Shaking him)Lysander! If you live, good sir, awake!

 **Lysander:** (Waking up, face to face with **Helena** ) And I'd run through fire, for your sweet sake! Helena the crystal-clear! Nature shows your loving heart through your bosom! Where's Demetrius? That vile man is fit only to die on my sword!

 **Helena:** Don't say that, Lysander! Don't say that! (Mistaking his reasons)What if he loves your Hermia? She still loves you. Be content with that.

 **Lysander:** Content with Hermia? No! I do regret the tedious moments I've spent with her. I love you, Helena, not Hermia. The mind is by reason swayed, and reason says that you are the worthier girl. For…

 **Helena:** (Cutting him off)Why was I born to be mocked so unmercifully like this? What have I done to deserve your scorn? Honestly, you're doing me wrong, in truth you do, in such a disdainful manner to woo me. But, goodbye. I really must confess, I thought that you were more of a gentleman.

 **Lysander:** Helena, I'm...

 **Helena:** Oh, that a lady, by one man refused, should, by another, therefore should be abused!

[She runs off, distressed]

 **Lysander:** She didn't see Hermia. Hermia, you sleep there, and may you never come near me! And, all my powers, address your love and might, to honor Helena, and be her knight!

[He follows her]

 **Hermia:** (Waking from a nightmare) Help me, Lysander! Help me! Do your best, to pluck this crawling serpent from my breast! (realizes it was just a dream)Oh dear! What a dream I had! Lysander, look how I shake with fear. I thought a serpent ate my heart away. And you just sat smiling at my agony! Lysander! (Realizes he's not there)What, not here? (yelling)Lysander! Lord! What, can't hear you me? Alas, where are you? Speak! If you can hear me, Speak! I feel faint from fear. (Silence) No? Then you can't be nearby. Either death or you I'll find immediately.

[She goes, leaving **Titania** and **Prince** alone, asleep]


	5. Act 1, Scene 5

[ **Quince, Bottom, Snug, the Flutes, Snout** and **Starveling** enter the clearing]

 **Bottom:** Are we all here?

 **Quince:** Yes, right on time. And, look, here's a marvelous convenient place for our rehearsal. This grassy spot will be our stage, this bush our dressing room. We'll act here, just as we'll do it before the Duke and Duchess.

 **Bottom:** Peter Quince!

 **Quince:** What now, bully Bottom?

 **Bottom:** There are things in this tragicomedy, of Pyramus and Thisbe that won't be liked. ( **Quince** groans)First, Pyramus must draw a sword to kill himself, which will upset the weak hearted, like the ladies.

 **F. Flute:** (Angry)What do you mean 'like the ladies'? I'm not like that, Robin's not, and are you forgetting, that the Duchess is also a warrior Queen?

 **Bottom:** Dearest, when I said 'like the ladies', I meant that, by experience, I've seen more week hearted ladies than men.

 **F. Flute:** Fine.

 **Starveling:** I think, we should leave the killing out, when all is done.

 **Bottom:** Not at all. I've got an idea. Write me a prologue, and let it seem to say, 'We will do no harm with our swords, and Pyramus isn't really killed.'

 **Snout:** That's brilliant!

 **Bottom:** Thanks. And to make sure, tell them that, I'm not Pyramus, but Bottom the weaver. This will put their minds at rest.

 **Quince:** Well, we'll have such a prologue.

 **Snug:** Won't the la… weak hearted, be scared of the lion?

 **F. Flute:** Nice save.

 **M. Flute** : It'll scare me, I can tell you.

 **Bottom:** People, think! To bring in a lion, a usually wild, terrifying creature among royal, and noble people, would be awful.

 **Snout:** So we'll have another prologue, saying that he's not really a lion.

 **Bottom:** Not only that, you must say that he is Snug the joiner, and half of his face must be seen through his mask, and he must speak through it.

 **Starveling:** And he can say, 'For those of you who are scared,' or 'The fair weak hearted', 'I would wish you', or 'I would entreat you, not to be afraid. If you think I have come here as a lion, I'd be mortified. No, I'm not a lion, I'm just an ordinary man.' Then you can say his name, and tell them plainly that he's Snug the joiner.

 **Quince:** Well, all right then. But there are two problems, one is, how to bring in moonlight into the room, because, Pyramus and Thisbe, meet by moonlight.

 **Snout:** Will the moon shining the night we preform?

 **Bottom:** Get a calendar, a calendar! Get the almanac! Find out when there's a moon!

 **Quince:** (Looking it up)Yes, there's a moon that night.

 **Bottom:** Well, then someone can leave a window open where we preform, and the moon can shine in.

 **Quince:** Yes, or else someone will have to come in with a thorn bush and lantern, and say they (looks at **Starveling** ) or she comes to play Moonshine.

 **Starveling:** Wonderful, I have the perfect dress!

 **Quince:** Why doesn't that surprise me? Anyway, there's another thing. We must have a wall in the great hall, because Pyramus and Thisbe, says the story, did talk through the chink of a wall.

 **Snout:** You can never bring in a wall. What do you think, Bottom?

 **Bottom:** Someone or something, must represent the wall. They'll have to have some plaster, mortar or bricks over them, to signify a wall. Or they can hold their fingers like this (He makes a V to demonstrate) and through this gap, shall Pyramus and Thisbe whisper

 **Quince:** If we can do that, we've nothing to worry about. Come, let us rehearse.

[ **Puck** enters, unseen]

 **Puck:** What rough-clothed rustics have we here? So close to the sleeping Fairy Queen? Why, there's a play going on. I'll be the audience! An actor too, if I see a reason.

 **Quince:** Speak, Pyramus. Thisbe, stand forward.

 **Bottom:** (Playing **Pyramus** )Thisne, the flowers have odious savours sweet…

 **Quince:** (Prompting)Odorous, odorous. And it's _Thisbe_ , not _Thisne_.

 **Bottom:** (Quietly) Odorous, odorous. Thisbe, Thisbe. (As **Pyramus** )Odorous savours sweet, so has your breath, my dearest _Thisbe_ dear. But listen! A voice! Stay here a little while, and by and by, I'll to you, appear.

[He goes, dramatically]

 **Puck:** The weirdest Pyramus ever! I have an idea! (Goes after him, mischievously)

 **F. Flute:** Should I speak now?

 **Quince:** Yes, you must. For you must understand, he goes, but to see to a noise that he heard. And he's to come again.

 **F. Flute:** (As **_Thisbe_** )Most radiant Pyramus, most lily-white of hue, of color like the red rose on triumphant briar, most lively lad, and also most lovely Jew. You faithful horse, that never seems to tire. I'll meet you, Pyramus at ninny's tomb.

 **Quince:** (Angry)'Ninus's tomb' Fran! But you mustn't say that yet! That's your answer to Pyramus! You're speaking all your part at once, cues and all. Pyramus, you missed your cue to enter. It's, 'never seems to tire.'

 **F. Flute:** (As **_Thisbe_ )Oh,** you faithful horse, that never seems to tire.

[ ** _Bottom_** returns wearing a donkey's head, but doesn't know it.]

 **Bottom:** (As **_Pyramus_ )If** I were handsome, Thisbe, I'd be yours alone…

 **F. Flute:** (Reacting to **_Bottom's_** appearance)Bottom! (Screams)Monster!

 **Quince:** How strange! How monstrous! We're haunted! Everyone, RUN!

[Everyone but **_Bottom_** and **_Puck_** runs off]

 **Puck:** I'll follow you, and lead you in circles! I'll shape shift into scary and fisous things! (Chases after them)

 **Bottom:** Why'd they run away? This is a joke, to frighten me.

[ ** _Starveling_** returns]

 **Starveling:** Oh, Bottom! You've changed!

 **Bottom:** Into what? The victim of a practical joke?

 **Starveling:** Oh, you don't know that you've been bewitched! Here, (throws him her compact mirror)take my spare compact. I "borrowed" it from Fran.

[ _ **Starveling** _ runs off]

 **Bottom:** I see their game. They want to fright me, like that's possible! I'll sing, so they'll know I'm not afraid!

(Sings)The blackbird that's so black of hue, With an orange bill, (opens the mirror)The thrush that has a song so true, The wren with tiny...

(sees his reflection, and screams) it wasn't a joke. I'm cursed! (Sighs) Songs, do make me feel better.

(Resumes singing)The wren with tiny trill -

 **Titania:** (Waking up)What angel wakes me from my flowery bed?

 **Bottom**  
(Singing on)The finch, the sparrow and the lark, the plain-song cuckoo gray,  
Whose song's a message everyone marks, and dares not answer nay.

(Stops singing)Well, that cheered me up a bit. But who would ever match their wit against a stupid bird? I wouldn't, no matter what.

 **Titania:** Gentle mortal, please sing again! I loved listening to your song. Your looks fascinate me. Your personality compels me, on first view, to say, to swear, I love thee.

 **Bottom:** I think, madam, you've little reason to say that. But then, reason and love don't go together much nowadays.

 **Titania:** You are as wise as you are handsome. ( **Prince** awakes)

 **Bottom:** I don't really think so. If I were, I could get out of this wood.

 **Titania:** Out of this wood, don't desire to go. You shall remain here, weather you want to or not.

 **Bottom:** What?

 **Titania:** I'm a fairy of some royalty, The seasons, especially summer, owes me loyalty. And I do love you. Therefore go with me.

 **Bottom:** I don't think I should.

 **Titania:** I'll give you fairies to attend on you, they'll do whatever you ask them to do. (Calling)Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth and Mustardseed!

[Enter the fairies, **Peaseblossom, Cobweb, Moth** & **Mustardseed. Oberon** enters, still invisible.]

 **Peaeseblossom:** Ready!

 **Cobweb:** And I!

 **Moth:** And I!

 **Mustardseed:** And I!

 **All:** Where shall we go?

 **Titania:** Be kind and courteous to this gentleman. Feed him with apricots, berries, grapes and figs. Bow to him, fairies, and do him courtesies.

 **Peaseblossom:** Hail, mortal!

 **Cobweb:** Hail!

 **Moth:** Hail!

 **Mustardseed:** Hail!

 **Bottom:** Greetings. May I know your names?

 **Cobweb:** Cobweb.

 **Bottom:** I'd like to get to know you better, good Mistress Cobweb. If I cut my finger, I'll use you to stop the bleeding. (To Peaseblossom)Your name, honest lady?

 **Peaseblossom:** Peaseblossom.

 **Bottom:** Mistress Peaseblossom, miss, I'd like to be better acquainted with you too. (To Mustardseed)Your name, please sir?

 **Mustarseed:** Mustarseed.

 **Bottom:** Good Master Mustardseed, we must be better acquainted, Master Mustardseed.

 **Moth:** My name is Moth, what's yours, my lord?

 **Bottom:** Bottom, Nick Bottom.

[ **Prince** goes towards **Titania** , but she doesn't notice.]

 **Titania:** (To the **Fairies** )Come, wait upon Bottom, and lead him to my bower. ( **Prince** gets depressed)The moon, I think, is misty-eyed, and when she weeps, weeps every little flower, lamenting some enforced chastity. ( **Bottom** utters a noisy bray)Tie up my love's tongue, and lead him silently.

[They leave, except **Prince,** who was left behind. **Oberon** comes forth from the shadows]

 **Oberon:** Excuse me, why are you so sad?

 **Prince:** My foster mom left me. I'm miles away from my Dad. I'm all alone.

 **Oberon:** No, you're not. I'm your foster father, and I hereby make you my adoped son, and prince of the fairies! ( **Prince** goes to him)This has worked out better than I could devise!

Intermission


	6. Act 2, Scene 1

[Another part of the wood. **Oberon** and **Prince** enter.]

 **Oberon:** I wonder if Bottom's appearance was Puck's mischief. ( **Puck** enters)Here comes my jester. Well, now, zany fairy. What mischief is there in this wood.

 **Puck:** My mistress is in love with a monster!

 **Oberon:** Is it a donkey headed man?

 **Puck:** Yes, how'd you know?

 **Oberon:** I spied on her giving him love, praise and servants. She was completely ignoring the boy, which I took when she, with her servants and "beloved", had left. How'd you do it?

 **Puck:** Well, my lord, I was wandering the forest and came upon a bunch of Athenian workpeople(High school students), rehearsing a play intended for great Theseus's wedding day. The stupidest thick-head of that ignorant lot, played the part of Pyramus in their play. When he left the scene and went into a thicket, I put a donkey's head on him!

 **Oberon:** Clever! What about the others?

 **Puck:** Well, when his Thisbe spoke his cue, out the talentless actor came. When they saw him, they ran away like cowards. Taking advantage of this, I played tricks on them, disguising myself so they would be very scared. (Laughs)Oh those rouges! They screamed so much, and ran so fast, I thought some monster would awake!

 **Oberon:** And then Titania awoke and immediately fell in love with a donkey! (laughfs)You are a wonderfull jester. Now, have you moistened the Athenian's eyes with the love juise, as I did bid thee do?

 **Puck:** That's done too. I found him sleeping with the Athenian woman by his side. So, when he waked, she must be eyed.

[ **Hermia** and **Demetrius** enter]

 **Oberon:** Hide yourself. This is the Athenian I meant.

 **Puck:** This is the woman, but this isn't the man.

[They take cover]

 **Demetrius:** Oh, why do you rebuke a man who loves you so?

 **Hermia:** I'm only scolding you now, but I should be more severe. You may, I fear, have given me reason to curse. If you, coward, killed Lysander in his sleep, then kill me too.

 **Demetrius:** You're getting angry for no reason. I'm not guilty of Lysander's blood, nor is he dead for all I know.

 **Hermia:** Please, tell me if he's well.

 **Demetrius:** If I could, what would I get in return?

 **Hermia:** (annoyed)The privilege, of never seeing me again. And from your hated presence shall I go, see me no more, whether he'd be dead or not.

[She goes]

 **Demetrius:** There's no following her in this angry mood. I'll stay here and rest for a while.

[He lies down and sleeps]

 **Oberon:** (Coming forward)What have you done? You've put the love juice on some true love's eyes! You've upsetted true love, not put a false love right.

 **Puck:** Fate has decided that. For every person who keeps their word, a million fail.

 **Oberon:** Enough! Go swiftly through this wood, and look for Helena of Athens.

 **Puck:** I go, I go! Look how I go!

[Exits]

 **Oberon:** (squeezing the juice on **Demetrius's** eyes) Flower of this purple dye, sink an apple of his eye. When his love he does spy, When you wake, if she's near, beg of her, for remedy.

[ **Puck** returns]

 **Puck:** Captain of our fairy band, Helena is here at hand. And the youth mistook by me, is pleading his love. Lord, what fools these mortals be!

 **Oberon:** Stand aside. The noise they make, will cause Demetrius to wake.

 **Puck:** Then, two men will love one girl, that'll put things in a whirl!

[They stand aside. **Helena** and **Lysander** enter]

 **Lysander:** Why do you think my love is a joke? Look, when I vow, I weep.

 **Helena:** These oaths are Hermia's. Don't you love her anymore?

 **Lysander:** I had no judgment when I swore my love to her.

 **Helena:** Nor do you now, in my opinion, since you're giving her up.

 **Lysander:** Demetrius loves her, not you

 **Demetrius:** (Waking) Oh, Helen, goddess, nymph. So perfect, so define! To what, my love, shall I compare your eyes? Crystal is muddy. Oh, your cherry lips, tempting grow.

 **Helena:** Oh spite! Oh cruelty! I see you all are determined to gang up on me for merriment! If you were polite and knew courtesy, you wouldn't hurt me like this. Isn't it enough to hate me, but mockery?

 **Demetrius:** I am not mocking you.

 **Helena:** Yeah, right. If you two were gentlemen, you wouldn't abuse a gentle lady so. You both are rivals and love Hermia. Now I see both rivals mock Helena.

 **Demetrius & Lysander: **No. Never.

 **Helena:** Very cleaver, very _manly,_ to conjure tears in a poor maid's eyes

 **Lysander:** You're unkind, Demetrius. Be not so. You love Hermia, this you know I know. So now, with all my heart, in Hermia's love I yield you up my part. And yours of Helena to me bequeath, whom I love, ( **Helena** rolls her eyes)and will love, till my death.

 **Helena:** You're wasting your time, the two of you!

 **Lysander:** Lysander, keep your Hermia. I want none. If I loved her, all that love is gone. My heart to her as a guest sojourned., and now to Helena is it home returned. There to remain.

 **Lysander:** Helena, it's not so!

 **Demetrius:** Don't belittle a faith you don't understand, or might pay dearly for it. ( **Hermia** enters)Look, your loved one is here. There's your sweetheart!

 **Hermia:** Dark night, that stops the eyes from waking, makes the ears more sensitive. I didn't find you by looking, Lysander. It's thanks to my hearing that I found you. But why unkindly did you leave me so?

 **Lysander:** Why should I stay, when love presses me to go?

 **Hermia:** What love could press you from my side?

 **Lysander:** My beloved's, she urges me on. The beautiful Helena, who's more beautiful than the stars! Why did you seek me? Don't you know I left you because I hate you?

 **Hermia:** You don't mean what you're saying. (He nods)It can't be!

 **Helena:** Lo, she's part of this cruel joke! Now I perceive they three have joined together, to fashion this false sport in spite of me. Hermia, most ungrateful maid! To join with men in scorning your dear friend. Tis not maidenly.

 **Hermia:** I don't understand what you mean.

 **Helena:** Haven't you set up Lysander to follow me around in mockery, praising my eyes and looks? And made your other love, Demetrius, who, only recently, bullied me, to call me, 'goddess' and 'nymph'? Why would he say these things to a woman he hates? And why does Lysander reject your love, which is so precious to him. And offer it to me?

 **Hermia:** I still don't understand what you mean by this.

 **Helena:** Oh, yes! Carry on, counterfeit sad looks, make faces behind my back, wink at each other, hold this sweet jest up and it shall be chronicled. If you had any manners and knew decency, you wouldn't do this to me! But fare ye well. It's partly my own fault, which death or absence soon shall remedy.

 **Lysander:** Stay gentle Helena, hear my excuse. My love, my life, my soul, beautiful Helena!

 **Hermia:** (To **Lysander** )Sweet, don't scorn her so.

 **Demetrius:** If she can't entreat, I can compel.

 **Lysandser:** You can't compel no more than she can entreat. Your threats have no more power than her weak prayers. (To **Helena** )Helena, I love you, by my life I do. I swear by my life to fight anyone who says I don't.

 **Demetrius:** (To **Helena** )I say I love you more than he can do.

 **Lysander:** Do you? Than withdraw and prove it!

 **Demetrius:** (making to go)Come on then, quick…

[ **Hermia** holds **Lysander** ]

 **Hermia:** Lysander, how's this going to end?

 **Lysander:** (struggling to escape)Get off, you leech!

 **Demetrius:** Oh, yes! Pretend to break loose. Act as if you'd like to follow, but yet come not. You're a coward!

 **Lysander:** (increasing his struggles)Let go, you burr, you vile thing, get off me or I'll shake you like a snake!

 **Hermia:** Why have you turned so nasty? Why the change, sweet love?

 **Lysander:** _Your_ love? Off, you loathed medicine, hated potion, away!

 **Hermia:** (holding tight)You're joking, surly?

 **Helena:** (still convinced they're pretending)Yes, sooth, and so do you!

 **Lysander:** Demetrius, my challenge still stands!

 **Demetrius:** I wish it had a guarantee! (mocking **Hermia's** hold)I see a weak bond holds you. I won't trust your word.

 **Lysander:** What, should I hurt her, strike her, kill her? Although I hate her, I can't harm her.

 **Hermia:** What? What greater harm can you do to me, than hatred? Am I not Hermia? Are you not Lysander? You loved me before this night began, yet you left me during it. So when you left me asleep, shall I dare say, in earnest?

 **Lysander:** Yes, upon my life. I never wanted to see you again! Therefore be out of hope, question and doubt. Be certain that I do hate you and love Helena.

 **Hermia:** Poor me! (to **Helena** )You cheat, you fake, you thief of love! What have you come by night and stolen my love's heart from him?

 **Helena:** Fine, i'faith! Have you no modesty, no shame, no touch of bashfulness? What, will you tear impatient and rude answers from my, gentle tongue?

 **Puck:** Gentle?

 **Helena:** (Looks for the noise, but can't)Shame on you, you sham, you counterfeit. You puppet you!

[ **Hermia** looks shocked]

 **Puck:** Puppet! You're a puppet!

 **Hermia:** (Looks around)Puppet? So, that way goes the game. ( **Hermia** is much smaller than **Helena** )Now I see she's comparing our heights! She's boasting how tall she is! And with her personage, her tall personage, her height, she has won him over. (Coming closer)And have you grown so high, in his esteem, because I'm so dwarfish, so low! How low am I, you tainted maypole? (Angry)Not so low that my nails can't reach into your eyes!

[ **Hermia** lunges for **Helena** , but **Lysander** and **Demetrius** hold her back]

 **Helena:** (frightened)I beg you gentlemen, though you mock me, don't let her hurt me! I've no gift at all in shrewishness. Let her not strike me, you probably think, because she's lower than myself that I can match her.

 **Hermia:** (Increasing her struggles)'Lower', hark again!

 **Helena:** Good Hermia, don't be so bitter with me. I've always loved you, Hermia, always kept your secrets. Except, out of love for the cruel Demetrius, I told him of your flight. Now, let me go back to Athens, please. I learned my lesson.

 **Hermia:** Why, get you gone! Who is't that hinders you?

 **Helena:** A foolish heart, I leave here behind.

 **Hermia:** What, with Lysander?

 **Helena:** No, with Demetrius.

 **Lysander:** Don't be afraid, she won't harm you, Helena.

 **Demetrius:** No, sir, she won't, even though you are on her side.

 **Helena:** Oh, when she's angry, she's keen and shrewd. She was a vixen when we went to school. And though she's little, she's fierce.

 **Hermia:** 'Little' again? Nothing but 'low' and 'little'!

 **Puck:** Low and little

 **Hermia:** Why, let me come to her!

 **Lysander:** Be off with you, you dwarf! You midget! You bead! You acorn!

 **Demetrius:** (To **Lysander** )You're interfering where you aren't wanted! She scorns your services. Leave her alone, speak not of Helena.

 **Lysander:** Helena!

 **Demetrius:** (Getting angry.)If you dare to show, the slightest bit of love to her, you'll regret it.

 **Lysander:** Now she's not holding me. So, follow me, if you dare, and we'll see who's worthier of Helena!

 **Demetrius:** Follow? Nay, I'll go with you, side, by side.

[ **Lysander** and **Demetrius** leave, hands on swords.]

 **Hermia:** You, mistress, are the cause of all this strife! ( **Helena** backs away.)Nay, go not back!

 **Helena:** I can't trust you. Nor will I stay in your cursed company. Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray. My legs are longer, though, to run away!

[ **Helena** runs off.]

 **Hermia:** I'm amazed and don't know what to say. (follows her)Come back, you tainted maypole!

[ **Oberon** and **Puck** come forward.]

 **Oberon:** This is your fault. Mistakes again! Or else your up to your roguish tricks on purpose.

 **Puck:** Believe me, king of spirits, I mistook. Didn't you tell me I'd know the man by the Athenian clothing he had on? And didn't you also tell me, (Impersonates **Oberon** )'How many young Athenian men can their be in this wood?'

 **Oberon:** I know. But, you can see that these lovers are looking for a place to fight.

 **Puck:** Yes, and (Laughs) it's funny!

 **Oberon:** Stop laughing and cover the night with thick fog. Lead these rivals so astray, that they won't come near each other. Mimic Lysander's voice and bitterly tease Demetrius. Then, do the same with the others. That way, you'll keep them apart, till deathlike sleep with leaden legs and batty wings doth creep. Then pour this liquid herb on Lysander's eyes. (He hands **Puck** a vial.)It'll remove the spell from him. When they next wake, all this mockery will seem like a silly dream. And back to Athens shall the lovers go, with a lifelong friendship. While you do this, I'll remove the spell from my beloved Queen.

 **Puck:** My fairy lord, this must be done with haste, for night's swift dragons cut the clouds full fast.

 **Oberon:** But, we're not ghosts. We can walk through the woods like any forester. And, I've often flirted with the goddess of sunrise, so we don't have to worry about that. Nonetheless, be quick. Don't waste any time, we could complete this business before the start of day.

[ **Oberon** goes.]

 **Puck:** Up and down, up and down, I will lead them up and down. I am feared in field and town. (The stage is covered in fog) Here comes one.

[ **Lysander** enters]

 **Lysander:** Where are you, proud Demetrius? Speak now.

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Demetrius** ) Here, Villain! Drawn and ready! Where are you?

 **Lysander:** I'll be with you right away!

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Demetrius** ) Follow me, villain. To plainer ground.

[ **Lysander** follows the voice and leaves. **Demetrius** enters]

 **Demetrius:** Lysander! Speak again! Have you runaway, like a coward?! Speak! (He pokes around with his sword)

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Lysander** )You're the coward! Are you bragging to the stars? ( **Demetrius** looks angrier)Telling the bushes you look for wars? But won't come?

 **Demetrius:** Oh, then your here, villain?

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Lysander** )Follow my voice. We won't fight here.

[ **Demetrius** goes, following the voice. **Helena** enters.]

 **Helena:** I hope I've created enough distance.

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Hermia** )There you are, you tainted maypole!

 **Helena:** Oh no! Dear Hermia, I can't see you, so please don't attack defenseless me!

[Runs off, away from the voice. **Hermia** enters.]

 **Hermia:** Speak! Oh, what's the use? You're too smart. You, man stealing, painted maypole!

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Helena** ) I knew you wouldn't dare attack me in this fog, you little dwarf!

 **Hermia:** You spoke! Where are you!

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Helena** ) Running away from you, vicious dwarf!

 **Hermia:** (Angry)Stop calling me that, you maypole!

[She runs after the voice. Re-enter **Lysander** ]

 **Lysander:** He goes before me, yet still dares me on! When I come where he calls, he's gone. I followed fast, but faster he went. So, here will I rest me. (He lies down) Come, thou gentle day. When you show me your gray light, I'll find Demetrius!(He sleeps)

[ **Demetrius** enters]

 **Puck:** (Imitating **Lysander** )Oh, ho! Coward! Why don't you come?

 **Demetrius:** I would if you'd wait for me! Thou runn'st before me, shifting everywhere, not looking me in the face. Where are you?

 **Puck:** (Imitates **Lysander** )Come this way, I'm here.

 **Demetrius:** Nay, you're mocking me.

 **Puck:** (Imitates **Lysander** )Mocking you?

 **Demetrius:** Yes! But, never mind. I'm tired, so here I'll sleep and fight thee in the morning. (Lies down and sleeps)

[ **Helena** enters]

 **Helena:** Oh weary night, oh long and tedious night! Shorten your hours, so that I may go back to Athens by daylight, away from these people who detest my poor company.

[She lies down and rests]

 **Puck:** Yet but three? Come one more. Two of both kinds makes up four. ( **Hermia** enters)Now here's the maiden, cursed and sad.

 **Hermia:** Never so weary. Never so lost in woe! I'm wet with dew and torn with briars. My legs can't keep pace with my desires! Here will I rest me, till break of day. (Lies down)Heaven, shield Lysander if they mean to fight!

[ **Hermia** sleeps]

 **Puck:** On the ground, sleep sound. I'll apply to your eye, gentle lover, remedy. (Squeezes the potion on **Lysander's** eyes)When you wake, you'll take true delight, in the sight of thy former lady's eye.

[He goes. The lovers lie asleep. **Titania, Bottom** and their attendants. **Oberon** follows them.]

 **Bottom:** Where's Peaseblossom?

 **Peaeblossom:** Here and ready!

 **Bottom:** Scratch my head, please. Where's Cobweb?

 **Cobweb:** Here and ready!

 **Bottom:** Get me some honey, but be carful. Where's Mustardseed?

 **Mustardseed:** Here and ready! What shall I do?

 **Bottom:** Help Cobweb to scratch.

 **Titania:** Wilt thou hear some music, my sweet love?

 **Bottom:** I have a reasonably good ear for music. Let's have the triangles and spoons.

 **Titania:** (to her musicians)The Triangles and spoons! (Music plays)Now, what do you want to eat?

 **Bottom:** I desire some good dry oats, and strangely, a bundle of hay.

 **Titania:** I have a fairy scout who'll bring you some fresh nuts.

 **Bottom:** That be nice, (yawns)but I suddenly feel exhausted. So let none of your people stir me.

 **Titania:** Then sleep, fairies, be gone! (The **Fairies** leave. **Titania** puts her arms around **Bottom.** )This is how the woodbine twists around the honeysuckle and the ivy around the elm. Oh, how I love thee! Oh, how I dote on thee! (Kisses him)

[They sleep. **Puck** enters and meets **Oberon &** **Prince.** ]

 **Oberon:** (Coming forward)Welcome, good Robin. Seest thou this sweet sight? Her dotage now do I begin to pity. Now I have the boy,(Puts arm around **Prince** )so I will undo this hateful spell from her eyes. And, gentle Puck, after I have done this, remove the donkey's head from this Athenian man. If he wakes with the others, they can all return to Athens, thinking that this was all a dream. Now to release my Queen. (He touches **Titania's** eyelids with the potion)Be as thou wast wont to be. See as thou wast wont to see. Chastity will win a heart, better than young Cupid's dart. Now, Titania, awake, my sweet Queen!

 **Titania:** (Waking)Oh, my Oberon! (rises)What visions, have I seen! I thought I was in love with, a donkey!

 **Oberon:** (Points to **Bottom** )There lies your loved.

 **Titania:** (Screams)How did this happen? Oh, mine eyes do loathe his visage now!

 **Oberon:** Don't worry, my dear. Robin, take off this head.

 **Puck:** (To **Bottom,** removing the donkey's head) Now, when thou wake, with thine own fool's eyes, do peep.

 **Oberon:** Titania, call up musicians, and let us dance while these five are put into a deathlike sleep.

 **Titania:** (Calls to their servants)Music, ho music! The kind that bewitches sleep!

[Music is played and the fairies dance]

 **Oberon:** Now, you and I are new in amity. And tomorrow at midnight, we'll dance at the house of Duke Theseus and bless it with prosperity. The pairs of lovers will be married there, as well as Theseus and Hippolyta, with great merrymaking.

 **Puck:** Fairy King, attend and mark. I do hear the Morning Lark.

 **Oberon:** Then, my Queen, let's slip away. Night will soon be day. We the globe will compass soon, swifter than the wondering moon.

 **Titiania:** Come, my beloved, and in our flight tell me how I was found sleeping with these mortals on the ground.

[They leave, leaving the lovers and **Bottom** alone asleep. Hunting horns are heard. Enter **Theseus, Hippolta, Egeus** and their _attendants_.]

 **Theseus:** One of you go and find the game keeper. (An attendant leaves)Isn't this a lovely midsummer morning?

 **Hippolyta:** Yes, my love, and it reminds me of my adventures with my cosine.

 **Theseus:** You told us all about that on the way here. You have gift for story telling. (notices the lovers)I wonder who we have here?

 **Egeus:** My lord, that's my daughter sleeping on the ground, (points to **Lysander** )And that's Lysander. (Points to **Helena** )And that's Helena, old Nedar's Helena,(points to **Demetrius** )and that's Demetrius. I'm surprised that they're here together.

 **Theseus:** No doubt they rose early to celebrate Midsummer Day. (Remembers something)Wait, isn't today the day that Hermia makes her decision?

 **Egeus:** It is, my lord.

 **Theseus:** Well then, servants, blow your horns and wake them up! (Hunting horns sound. The lovers wake up)Good morning, friends. It's long past Valentine's Day. Are these wood-birds beginning to pair off now?

 **Lysander:** Your pardon, my lord.

[The lovers kneel.]

 **Theseus:** Please arise. (To **Demetrius & Lysander**)I know you two are rivals. Why are you so peaceful, as to sleep side by side? Why is there no hatred?

 **Lysander:** My lord, we're all still waking up.

 **Attendant #1:** Doesn't matter!

 **Theseus:** Silence! (To **Lysander** )Proceed.

 **Lysander:** I'm not sure how we came here.

 **Hermia:** My lord, I seem to remember. I came here with Lysander.

 **Lysander:** (It all comes back)Yes I remember. Our intention was to run away. To be far from the laws of Athens…

 **Egeus:** (Cuts him short)Enough, enough! My lord, you've heard enough! I beg the law, _the law_ , upon their heads! (Everyone looks upset)They would've run away. They would Demetrius! They've cheated us! You of your wife, and me of my consent!

 **Demetrius:** My lord, fair Helena told me of their flight to this wood. I followed them here in anger, and the beautiful Helena followed me out of love. And, my good lord, I must confess that I don't remember much, but, I do know that my love for Hermia has melted like the snow.

 **Egeus:** (Angry)Your love for _my_ child melted?!

 **Demetrius:** Yes sir, it has. I was engaged to Helena before I saw Hermia, and, as if in sickness, or madness, I abandoned my beloved. Now I'm restored to full heath, and as all of you as my witnesses, I hear by promise, to forever more, be faithful to my beloved Helena.

 **Attendant #2:** Aww! That's so sweet!

 **Theseus:** Dear lovers, you're fortunately met. We'll hear more of your story later. Egeus, I will overrule your will. For these couples shall be married with us.

 **Hippolyta:** It's getting late in morning, my dear.

 **Theseus:** You're right. Let's cancel our hunt and return to Athens, all three couples. We'll hold a great ceremonial feast. Come, everyone. And Egeus, don't look so cross.

[Everyone goes except the lovers and **Bottom** , who's still asleep.]

 **Lysander:** Everything seems vague, like distant mountains that seem like clouds.

 **Demetrius:** Yes, or like trees so distant they look like the sky.

 **Hermia:** Everything seems out of focus. I feel like I'm seeing double.

 **Helena:** Me too. Demetrius is like a jewel I've found, he's mine, but not really mine.

 **Demetrius:** Are you sure we're awake? It seems that we're still asleep.

 **Lysander:** Wasn't the Duke was here, telling us to follow him, to the temple?

 **Hermia:** Yes, and my father.

 **Helena:** And Hippolyta

 **Demetrius:** Then we are awake! Let's follow him and on the way, lets recount our dreams.

[The Lovers leave]

 **Bottom:** (Waking up)When my cue comes, call me and I'll answer.(Yawns. Realizes he's alone)Heigh-ho! (Calls)Peter Quince! Fran  & Maxcence Flute! Snout! Starveling! They've left me asleep. I've have a most rare vision. I've had a dream. I thought I was…(remembers then laughs, which turns into a donkey's bray.) No.(Searches for the mirror. Finds it then looks at himself.)Horay! I was just a dream, a dream that would make a wonderful epic poem! I'll have Peter write it down, It shall be titled, "Bottom's Dream". It should make a wonderful epiloge. (Thinks)I'm sure to forget some by the time I get back. (Pulls out a tape recoder)I'll just record it. (Presses record)Bottom's Dream, (Begins to walk away)narrated by it's creator, Nick Bottom…

[He goes]


	7. Act 2, Scene 2

[Athens. Enter **Quince, the Flutes, Snout** and **Starveling** ]

 **Quince:** Have any of you been to Bottom's House? Has he come home yet?

 **Starveling:** There's no sign of him.

 **F. Flute:** He won't even answer his phone!

 **Quince:** That, I know. Do you think he's transported?

 **Starveling:** Without a doubt.

 **M. Flute** : If he doesn't show up, then the play will be canceled, right?

 **Quince:** Right. We'd have an incomplete cast. No one else could play Pyramus.

 **F. Flute:** No. He hath the most talent out of all the handicraft men in Athens (people in school.)

 **Quince:** Yes, and the best physique too.

 **M. Flute:** He's a paramour for his sweet voice.

 **F. Flute:** You mean 'paragon'. A paramour is, a naughty sort of man.

[ **Snug** enters]

 **Snug:** Friends, the Duke's coming from the temple, and there's two or three more noble couples married. If our play had gone forward, we'd have made our fortunes.

 **F. Flute:** Oh, sweet bully Bottom! He's lost a sixpence daily pension for the rest of his life! He would've deserved it, that sweet, kind, gentle, caring and handsome man!

[Enter **Bottom** ]

 **Bottom:** Where are these lads and lasses that are so merry?

[Everyone rushes towards him, to embrace]

 **Quince:** Bottom! What a happy day!

 **F. Flute:** We thought we'd never see you again!

 **Bottom:** Dear friends, I've some amazing things to tell you. But don't ask me what, for if I tell you, I'm no true Athenian. (His friends are disappointed)Don't worry, I have made a recording, which I pray you will all listen to.

 **Snout:** Now?

 **Quince:** Yes, please now, old friend.

 **Bottom:** No. First, I have some important news for you. (Gets excited)Our play has been chosen!

 **F. Flute:** That's wonderful! (Hugs **Bottom** )

 **Bottom:** I know. Get the apparel and props ready and meet immediately at the palace for rehearsal. No matter what, we must have clean cloths, and don't eat onions or garlic, for we must have sweet breath.

 **Quince:** Anything else?

 **Bottom:** Yes. Snug, don't cut your nails.

 **Snug:** Why?

 **Bottom:** Your the lion. Lions have claws. No more words! Let's go!

[They go]


	8. Act 2, Scene 3

[Duke's palace in Athens. Enter **Theseus, Hippolyta, Philostrate** and **Attendants** ]

 **Hippolyta:** Tis strange my Theseus, what these lovers speak of.

 **Theseus:** Strange indeed, too much to be true. I never can believe all those fairytale stories. There too far-fetched.

 **Hippolyta:** There seems to be some truth.

 **Theseus:** Lovers and madmen, my dear, have such imaginative minds. They, as well as poets, can dream up things that level headed people can never comprehend.

 **Hippolyta:** But the consistency of their story of the night's events suggests there's more to it than mere make-believe.

[ **Lysander, Hermia, Demetrius & Helena** enter]

 **Theseus:** Here come the lovers, full of and mirth. Joy, gentle friends, may joy and love be in your hearts for evermore!

 **Lysander:** May even more of it grace your royal walks, your table and your bed!

 **Theseus:** Come now, what masques, what dances shall we have, to wear away the tedious hours between the end of supper, and bedtime?

 **Hippolyta:** That, I do not know. Where's the manager of mirth?

[ **Philostrate** steps forward.]

 **Philostrate:** Here, mighty Theseus and Hippolyta.

 **Theseus:** What revels are at hand?

 **Philostrate:** Here is a list of all the shows that are ready. Choose which Your Highness will see first.

[ **Philostrate** hands **Theseus** a program, which he reads.]

 **Theseus:** No, no! We shall none of these! I have either seen them before, or they're inappropriate for a _wedding_ ceremony.

 **Philostrate:** (Hesitant)Well, there's one more. On the back.

[ **Theseus** looks at the back of the program.]

 **Thesus:** (Reading) _A long short play about young Pyramus and his lover Thisbe: a very tragical mirth_ _._ (Stops reading)Merry _and_ tragical? Long _and_ short? That's like hot ice and warm snow. (To **Philostrate** )What is this nonsense?

 **Philostrate:** It's a play, my lord, some ten lines long, which is as brief as I've known a play to be. But it's too long by ten lines, so it's tedious.

 **Hippolyta:** How?

 **Philostrate:** Because there's not _one_ good actor in the _entire_ play! When I saw it being rehearsed, I must confess, it made my eyes water, and I never laughed.

 **Theseus:** Who's playing it?

 **Philostrate:** Laborers who work here in Athens(High School students, who attend school here), who've never, in this sport have labored in their minds till now. And have forced their rusty brains to do this play to celebrate your wedding.

 **Theseus:** We'll hear it, then.

 **Philostrate:** No, my noble lord, kit's not for you. I've herd it all, and it's nothing, you unless you find some amusement in their intents.

 **Theseus:** I will hear that play. For, nothing ever offends that's offered by those who are dutiful. Go, bring them in! (To everyone else)Take your places!

[ **Philostrate** bows and leaves. **Puck** enters, invisible.]

 **Hippolyta:** _I_ don't like to see simple wretches overstretching themselves, preforming things that give them pain.

 **Theseus:** Why gentle sweet, you shall see no such thing.

 **Hippolyta:** He said they have no talent.

 **Theseus:** All the kinder of us, to give them thanks for nothing. Our sport shall be taking them seriously when they error. Why, when…

 **Hippolyta:** (Cutting him off)Oh, quite your monologue, I get the point!

[Before **Theseus** can say something, **Philostrate** enters.]

 **Philostrate:** So please, Your Grace, the Prologue is ready.

 **Theseus:** Bring them in.

[Trumpets sound. **Quince** enters, as **Prologue.** He reads from a scroll, but ignores the punctuation.]

 **Quince:** If we offend, it's our intent. That you should thin, we come not to offend, but only to show our skill. That is the true beginning of our end. Our true intent is. All for your delight, the actors are at hand; and by what they show, you shall all know, that you are to know.

 **Theseus:** This fellow doesn't worry about punctuation!

 **Lysander:** He hath rid his prologue like a rough colt. He doesn't know when to stop! A good moral, milord, it is not enough to speak, but to speak correctly!

 **Hippolyta:** Indeed, he's played his prologue like an average child a recorder. He's made a sound, but it's all confused.

 **Theseus:** His speech was like a tangled chain, nothing broken, but all disordered. Who's next?

[A trumpet sounds. **Bottom** enters, playing **Pryamus;** as **Thisbe;** as **Tomb; Snout** as **Wall; Starveling** as **Moonshine** (the character, not the drink) **;** and **Snug** as **Lion.** They listen to **Quince** speak the prologue, and step forward one by one as he introduces them.]

 **Quince:** Gentles, perhaps you wonder about this show; But wonder on, till truth makes all things plain. (indicates **Bottom** )This man is Pyramus, if you would know; (indicates )This lovely lady, Thisbe is her name. This man with lime and rough-cast doth present Wall, that vile wall, which did keep these lovers apart; And through the wall's chink, poor souls are content to whisper.

[ **Puck** throws something at **Quince,** making him fall **.]**

 **Hermia:** I hope you're alright.

 **Quince:** (Getting up)Fear not, I am quite alright. Now, where was I? (remembers)Ah, yes, (Continuing)This woman,(indicating **Starveling** )with lantern, dog, bush of thorn and extremely elaborate dress, presents Moonshine; for you will know, by the light of the moon, _not_ by alcohol, did these lovers meet by (indicates **M. Flute** )Ninus' tomb here, er, there, to woo. This grisly beast, who's Lion by name the faithful Thisbe, gave a fright. As she fled, her mantle she let fall, which Lion with bloody mouth did stain. Anon comes Pyramus, sweet & tall youth, found Thisbe's mantle slain, and with his boiling bloody breast, stabbed himself. His…

 **Puck:** (Invisible, yet audible)Get on with the show!

 **Quince:** (Looking around)O-ok. For all the rest, let Lion, Moonshine, Wall, and Lovers twain, at large discourse, while here they remain.

[All the players leave except **Snout,** the **Wall.** ]

 **Theseus:** I wonder if the lion will speak?

 **Demetrius:** No wonder, my lord. A lion, when so many asses do.

 **Snout:** In this same play it does befall that I, one Snout by name, present a wall. And such a wall, as I would have you think, that had in it a crannied hole or chink, (uses fingers to form a chink)through which the lovers, Pyramus  & Thisbe, did whisper often, very secretly. This clay, this plaster, and this stone are proof that I am that same wall.

 **Theseus:** Could lime & hair speak better?

 **Demetrius:** It's the wittiest wall I've ever heard, my lord.

 **Helena:** (To **Demetrius** )And how many have you heard?

 **Demetrius:** (To **Helena** )None, that's why he's the beast.

[Enter **Bottom,** as **Pyramus.** ]

 **Theseus:** Pyramus nears the wall. Silence!

 **Bottom:** (As **Pyramus.** Giving it all he has.)Oh, grim-looked night! Oh, night with hue so black! Oh, night which ever is when day is not! Oh, night, oh, night, alack, alack, alack, I fear my Thisbe's promise is forgot! And you, oh wall, oh sweet, oh lovely wall, show me your chink, to blink through with my eye. ( **Snout** shapes a chink with his fingers)Thanks, courteous wall. (Looks through)But what see I? No Thisbe do I see? Oh, wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss, cursed be your stones for deceiving me!

 **Theseus:** The wall, being sensible, should curse back.

 **Bottom:** (Stepping out of part to explain)No, in truth sir, he shouldn't. 'Deceiving me', is Thisbe's cue. She will enter, and I am to spy her through the wall. (enters, dressed as **Thisbe** )Yonder here she comes.

 **F. Flute:** (As **Thisbe** )Oh wall, you've often heard my moans, for parting my fair & impatient, Pyramus & me. My cherry lips have often kissed your stones; with lime & hair knit up in you.

 **Bottom:** (As **Pyramus** )I see a voice. I'll go to the chink, to see if I can hear my Thisbe's face. Thisne!

 **Quince:** (Loud whisper)Thisbe!

 **F. Flute:** (As **Thisbe** )My love! You _are_ my love, I think?

 **Bottom:** (As **Pyramus** )Think what you like, I _am_ your lover. And like Limander, I'm still faithful.

 **F. Flute:** (As **Thisbe** )And I, like Helen, till the Fates me kill.

 **Bottom:** (As **Pyramus** )Oh kiss me through this hole, of this vile wall!

[They put their lips to **Wall's** fingers.]

 **F. Flute:** (As **Thisbe** )I kiss the hole, but not your lips at all.

 **Bottom:** (As **Pyramus** )Will you meet me at Ninny's tomb, straightaway?

 **Quince:** (Loud whisper)Ninus, you twit!

 **Hermia:** (Whispering to **Lysander** )Who says 'twit' anymore?

[ **Lysander** shrugs.]

 **F. Flute** : (As **Thisbe** )Come life, come death, I go without delay.

[ **Bottom & F. Flute **leave]

 **Snout:** (As **Wall** )Thus have I, Wall, performed my part. So now, I must depart.

[ **Snout** leaves.]

 **Theseus:** Now the moon will now have to come between the lovers.

 **Demetrius:** There's no alternative, my lord, especially when walls have ears.

 **Hippolyta:** This is the silliest stuff I've ever heard!

 **Theseus:** That's your opinion. But now, here come three noble beasts, a woman, a lion & a moving rock.

[ **Snug** enters as **Lion, Starveling** enters as **Moonshine & M. Flute **enters as **Tomb** ]

 **M. Flute:** I'm a Tomb, milord.

[ **Theseus** nods]

 **Snug:** (As **Lion** )Gentlefolk, especially you ladies, who tend to have gentle hearts, ( **Puck** brings out a mouse) that do fear the smallest mouse that creeps on the floor, may now, perhaps, both quake & tremble here when I, Lion, in wildest rage do roar.( **Puck** goes near **Theseus,** with **mouse,** & still invisible) So know that I, am not a Lion, but Snug the joiner.

 **Theseus:** A very noble beast, with a very good conscience.

 **Lysander:** This lion has all the courage of a fox!

 **Theseus:** True, and as much cation as a goose.

 **Demetrius:** No, my lord. His courage can't overcome his cation, but a fox can overcome a goose.

[ **Puck** puts **mouse** near **Theseus's** feet.]

 **Puck:** (Invisible, & panicky)There's a mouse!

[ **Everyone** looks at the mouse. All the men scream, and try to get on something high, while the women stay put.]

 **Hippolyta:** (Dismissive)It's just a mouse.

 **Hermia:** (Laughing)A "monstrous" mouse.

[The **Women** roar with laughter. The **Men** are mortified. Eventually, everything calms down.]

 **Theseus:** Le-let's listen to the moon.

[ **Women** giggle.]

 **Starveling:** (As **Moonshine** )This lantern doth the crescent, or horned, moon present.

 **Demetrius:** (Interrupting)She should've worn the horns on her head.

 **Theseus:** (Shaking his head in disagreement)She is no crescent,  & her horns are invisible.

 **Starveling:** (To **Theseus** )Thank you, milord. (To audience)As I was saying; (As **Moonshine** ) This lantern doth the crescent, or horned, moon present. And I, the Woman in the Moon, do seem to be.

 **Theseus:** (Interrupting)This is the greatest error of all! The Woman should be placed _in_ the lantern, how else can she be the Woman in the Moon?

 **Demetrius:** Because of the candle, my lord. It's smoking.

 **Hippolyta:** I'm weary of this moon. I whish she would change!

 **Theseus:** It appears, she's on the wane. Her light is dim. But, we must listen.

 **Lysander:** Proceed, Moon.

 **Starveling:** (Sighs)All I have to say is that the lantern's the moon, I'm the Woman in the Moon, this thornbush, my thornbush, this dog, my dog.

 **Demetrius:** Why, all of these things should be _in_ the lantern, for there all in the Moon.

 **Helena:** I don't care about that. They could be _on_ the moon. What I don't get, is, why the dog?

 **Starveling:** There's no one to watch her.

 **Demetrius:** I see Thisbe coming.

[Enter **F. Flute,** as **Thisbe** ]

 **F. Flute:** This is old Ninus Tomb. Where is my love?

 **Snug:** (As **Lion** )Roar-r-r!

[ **F. Flute** runs away, leaving behind her mantle.]

 **Demetrius:** Well roared, Lion!

 **Theseus:** Well run, Thisbe!

 **Hippolyta:** Well shone Moon! You truly shone with grace!

[ **Lion** makes the fallen mantle bloody, then leaves.]

 **Theseus:** Well moussed Lion!

[ **Bottom** returns as **Pyramus** ]

 **Demetrius:** And then came Pyramus.

 **Lysander:** And so the Lion vanished.

 **Bottom:** (In a grand fashion, with elaborate gestures)Sweet Moon, I thank thee for thy sunny beams. I thank thee, Moon, for shinning now so bright, for thy glittering gleams. I hope of faithful Thisbe, to catch sight. (He sees the bloody mantle on the ground)But stay! Oh, spite! Poor knight, what dreadful woe is here! Eyes do you see? How can it be? Oh, dainty duck, thy mantle good, what! Stained with blood? Oh fates come, come! Cut thread & thrum. Quail, crush, conclude & quell!

 **Theseus:** This, whatever you call it, & the death of a dear friend, would indeed make a man sad.

 **Hippolyta:** Curse my heart, but I pity the man.

 **Bottom:** (As **Pyramus** )Oh, why Nature, did you lions frame, since lion vile has destroyed my dear? Which is-no, no, which was- the fairest dame that lived, loved & looked with cheer. Come tears confound! Out sword & wound, the chest of Pyramus! Where the heart does beat. Thus I die, thus, thus, thus. (He "stabs" himself)Now I'm dead, now I'm fled, my soul is in the sky. Tounge, lose thy sight, Moon, take thy flight! ( **Moonshine** exits)Now, die, die, die, die, die! (He "dies" dramatically)

 **Demetrius:** He's an ace, that was a terrible death.

 **Lysander:** Less than an ace. He's dead, so he's nothing!

 **Theseus:** With the help of a doctor, he might recover, & be an ass.

[ **Bottom** flinches]

 **Hippolyta:** Why has Moonshine gone before Thisbe's return?

[ **F. Flute** returns]

 **Theseus:** She shall find him by starlight. Here she is, her passion ends the play.

 **Hippolyta:** I hope she'll be brief.

 **Demetrius:** As do I, my lady.

 **Lysander:** She has spied him already with her sweet eyes.

 **F. Flute:** (AS Thisbe)Asleep, my love? What dead, my dove? Oh, Pyramus arise! Speak, speak! Dead, dead? A tomb must cover thy sweet eyes.

 **M. Flute:** What about me?

 **F. Flute:** You're used. A new one must cover these lily lips, this cherry nose, these cowslip cheeks, which are nose gone, gone!

 **Theseus:** That tomb seems very chatty.

 **F. Flute:** Oh Sisters Three, come to me, with hands as pale as milk; lay them in gore, since you have shore, cut his silk thread. Tongue, not a word: come trusty sword, my breast stab through. (She stabs herself) And farewell, friends. Thus Thisbe ends: Adieu, adieu, adieu!

[She "dies"]

 **Theseus:** Moonshine & Lion are left to bury the dead.

 **Demetrius:** Yes, and Tomb & Wall too.

 **Bottom:** No, I assure you, the wall has been taken down. Would you like to see the epilogue, or to see a rustic dance between our company.

 **Theseus:** Please, no epilogue! Your play needs no apology, for when the players are all dead, no one can be blamed. Let's have that rustic dance, forget the epilogue.

[ **Bottom, the Flutes, Quince, Snout, Snug & Starveling **dance.]

 **Theseus:** The bell has tolled midnight. Tis almost Fairy Time. I'm afraid, we'll oversleep tomorrow, as we've stayed up late tonight. This awful play has made the time pass quickly. Sweet friends, to bed. For a fortnight we'll celebrate, most splendidly.

[ **Eve** **ryone** except **Puck** exits. **Puck** grabs a broom.]

 **Puck:** Now the hungry lion roars, & the wolf howls at the moon. While the ploughman snores, weary from his chores. Now the burnt-out logs just glow, it's the time of night when all the graves are gaping wide, each to let out a ghost. And we fairies, now do frolic. (Grabs **mouse** )We're happy, so not a mouse, shall disturb this royal house. I've been sent, to cause mischief & to sweep the dust behind the door.

[ **Titania, Oberon & **their **attendants** enter.]

 **Oberon:** Through this house, we shall give glimmering light, by the dead & drowsy fire. Every elf & fairy, hop as light as a bird from a briar. Sing & dance for us.

 **Titania:** (Sing-song)Hand in hand with fairy grace, we shall sing & bless this place.

[The **Fairies** dance]

 **Oberon:** Now until the break of day, through this house each fairy stray. We'll go to Theseus's marriage bed,

 **Titania:** Which we shall bless. All the children they create, ever shall be fortunate.

 **Oberon:** So shall all couples three, ever true in loving be. Perfect offspring shall there be. With this pure & holy dew, every fairy, this must do: Each & every chamber bless, give this palace sweet peace.

 **Titania:** With the owner of this place blessed, ever in safety rest. Trip away & don't delay, meet us here, by break of day.

[They all exit except **Puck.** ]

 **Puck:** If we actors have offended, think but this, & all is mended. That you've only slumbered here while these visions did appear. And this weak & idle theme, was nothing but a dream. Gentles don't reprehend, if you pardon, we will mend. And, as I am an honest Puck, which is a type of fairy, am true to my word. So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands if we be friends, & Robin shall restore amends!

[ **Puck** exits.]


End file.
